Reminisce

A year ago today I was going through changes. Major changes. Changes that caused me so much emotional stress, I didn’t think I was going to make it through. I didnt understand any of it, but I knew I had no choice but to move forward. Why? Because of the “divine complications” that occur when your dreams are coming true.

Within one week, my job lost me.. Yea, THEY lost ME and I had to move out of my apartment of two years. With most of my belongings in storage and no real reason to come back to the USA, I was on my way to Prague,Czech Republic to teach and perform for 6 weeks.

As I sat in JFK airport, you would think I would be excited. Truth be told, I wasn’t. I was speechless and uncertain. But, I knew it was the right thing to do. It wasn’t until I settled into sleep, stretched out on the first flight to London that I realized..WOW.. this is really happening.I’m getting exactly what I’ve asked for.Its always been my dream to travel, teach, and perform all over the world and BOOM!

A year later, I’m in an apartment that I absolutely love and ADORE! and my dreams are STILL coming true.

It’s interesting. As a child, I didn’t really have dreams. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t fathom how me, a little girl from brooklyn who grew up believing she was ugly, could make it. So I just didn’t dream. I would watch music videos and see all those little kids performing with Michael Jackson and I’d be like “Why and how did they get there? and Why and how am I not up there?” But, I guess there was always something inside of me.. no matter how quiet, that knew the life I was meant to live. I’m so humbled and thankful to be living my dreams.

Thank you God for ordering my steps, leading me in the right direction and always putting me exactly where I’m supposed to be.

Shernita’s Blog From Prague 5

Things have been really wonderful here in Prague. It’s countdown time to my return home and I know yall miss me (don’t front). I’ve been having a magical time with some really magical people. The history and beauty of this place is breathtaking. The parks here are to die for. I don’t think there’s a park in America that can compare to any of the parks here. I’ve visited Petcin, Vysehrad and Stromovka park. Stunning! (Pics on facebook soon)

I’ve also had a blast participating in Stare Offs. Yes, Stare Offs. I’ve been trying to see how long I can stare back at someone or how many different faces I can make. People have been smiling back lately, which makes it more fun. However, today was a first in the history of Shernita’s Shenanigans. Today, I participating in my first Growl Off. Yes, a Growl Off. What is a Growl Off you say? Well let me tell you…

So I’m minding my sweet lil business walking down the street and a small boy stares me up and down then proceeds to run towards me arms open wide. I thought he was going to hug me but at the last minute he decides to swipe my leg. Then he turns around, stops and growls at me. Now, you know Grandmas ain’t raise no punk, and shit I’m from BK Who da fuck want war????… So I growl back. This growling match continues for what seemed to be like 5 long minutes. Then his older sister comes to the door confused as hell, to the point where she runs back inside screaming. Then his mother comes to the door and is clearly baffled at this duel that’s occurring. I was a lil nervous but I couldn’t back down not when I was this far in the game. So the growling continues until I am laid out on the sidewalk growling and cracking up and the lil boy has now run away smiling. Andddddd Scene!

I know this sounds like a Charlie Murphy True Hollywood Story but I promise this really happened. Fa Real… there were witnesses. Ask if you don’t believe me.. fa real…

New Videos from Prague on http://www.youtube.com/shernitaquintel

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Shernita’s Blog from Prague 2

I love Prague. The weather is beautiful, the city is beautiful and I’m beautiful. What more could a girl ask for?

View from Paddle Boat on Vltava River

Things are definitely different here. The amount of cigarette smoking is killer! The jig is definitely down on that one. Imma need to find some sort of febreze situation, because me smelling like cigarettes is not popping. So you can run and tell dat.. homeboy.

Honestly, there aren’t much disappointments here except for how far behind this country is. It’s a shame. In the club, not only are girls wearing flats (God help us ) but they are rocking hard body to Jenny from the Block and Yeah by Usher! But even on a more serious note, the internet is sooo far behind here. I don’t understand how the internet isn’t the same anywhere I mean after all it is the WORLD WIDE WEB! WTF! I googled Kanye West (of course) and the first video that popped up is Stronger. WTF! Ole boy has a brand new album out Czech Republic!!! (ps I think I saw a poster of a Wyclef album posted in a music store) This jig continues to fall…

The stares that I get are absolutely astounding. I mean, people will stop and stare and stay staring as I pass. It’s the rudest thing but its also pretty flattering. (Thank you God for this beauty)

There aren’t many things open in the late night, which is something I’m definitely not used to and dogs are allowed everywhere and I do mean everywhere. Restaurants have treats and water bowls for the dogs when they come in lol. All in all, I’m having a blast and this is exactly what I needed. (Does booty drop for God)

Up next.. my sightseeing!!! Stay tuned!!

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U know you love it…

Shernita + Kanye West=(insert indescribable amazing feeling here)

Now, if you know me, then you know how I feel about Kanye West. Hands down, he’s my favorite artist. The only artist in which I have every one of his albums. Fuck what you heard, Kanye is the shit. Period.  And he can do no wrong in my eyes (sue me) I promise you, since I heard Power and Power RMX, I listen to them every day. Those 2 songs ( along with some Tye Tribett, Donald Lawrence and Rick Ross) get me through my rough days. (yes I have rough days too, i think they come along ever so often just to remind me that I am in fact human)

So when I found out that I was auditioning for Kanye West, I thought it was a hoax.

Then… Kanye walks in the audition. God help me.

All 130 of us girls, danced for our lives. Every trick in the book, every move we ever learned, every bit… was left on the dance floor. 130 dropped to 45. Then the waiting….and more waiting…. When I got the news, that me, Shernita Q. Anderson aka Shernitasofly.. would be dancing with Kanye West for an audience of approximately 12 million people, I was speechless. Words could not describe it. And on top of that, this is the first performance my entire family was able to watch.

The next few days would be full of pointed toes, last minute changes and smiles. We got a small glimpse into the world of a misunderstood genius. Honestly, not just because he’s an inspiration to me but Kanye is amazing, genuine and yes, he IS a nice guy. He’s a visionary…very involved in all aspects of his brand and he’s funny. Very funny actually.

Never in a million years would I dream that not only would I be performing with one of my biggest inspirations, but I’d get the chance to actually get to know him a little bit.  And I’m thankful to live in an age where thanks to technology, I am etched in history.. forever.

Here are the links…Im pretty obvious to see but just in case.. Im the only chocolate bald girl lol In Power, Im always on your left and in Runaway.. Im center.

Never Give Up…Your mind can’t even fathom what the Universe has in store for you. Hold tight…its coming….

Power

Runaway

Headphones PLEASE! NOW! ASAP!

Throughout the years I’ve seen numerous inventions  for the advancement of the human race; the flip phone, platform pumps and depilatory creams. Another wonderful invention was the creation of the headphones. They allow one to enjoy the lovely sounds of music ( podcasts and porn as well) in the privacy of ones own head.  With that being said I have a message for many of todays ghetto youth and just ghetto people in general:

BUY SOME COT DAMN HEADPHONES BEFORE I BLOW THIS PLACE UP!!!

Way too often, my life is disrupted by the loud, muffled sounds of Jeezy, Lil Wayne, or Dj Webstar blasting from some hoodrat’s sidekick. ( or some other wild cell phone device)  The jig is all the way up and I’m pissed off. If you can afford a $179 (with 2 year contract agreement) phone, then I’m sure you can shuffle on over to Bargain Hunter’s and get you some damn headphones.

Seriously.

No one gives a damn if you downloaded all of the hottest new tracks.. keep them to your damn self.

I will be honest though.. one time on the bus, (yea I take the bus from time to time. $89 for a metrocard? I’m swiping from here to Kingdom come) a man was rocking out to We Fall Down by Donnie McClurkin. Amen and Hallelujah.

The Lord said come as you are…just make sure who you are ,(ms or mr headphoneless) doesn’t disrupt who I am. I’ll listen on my own time, not yours. Thanks.

You loved it didn’t you?

There’s more where that came from….

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Old folks need to ACT RIGHT!

2010 is almost here and I know everyone is all gung ho about new years resolutions. So, Im gonna share one of mine with you…

One of my resolutions is to continue to restrain from kicking an older persons ass!

Now I know it sounds a little rude and disrespectful but lets be real, yall know yall feel the same way.

Old folks think they run the town tonight, last night.. shit.. every night since Christ was born. They think that because they’ve been on this earth a little longer than some of us, they can do whatever the hell they want and say whatever the hell they want. And Im here to let it be known; it aint going down like that. Yes I have respect for my elders, but sometimes they just get a little out of hand.

For example, Im in the supermarket waiting on line to pay, and because I didn’t move forward in a timely manner (according to her old ass), she decided not only to skip me, but to assault me with her baggage. Then she gonna have the nerve to talk shit. I told old girl straight up, ” Baby boo you bumped me, but one hit from me, and your ass will end up admitted to the nearest hospital. So slow ya role”. Was I wrong for that? I don’t think so. I could have just attacked her like I initially planned on.

They always talk shit about how us “young’ns” don’t have respect and boy how times have changed. Man, fuck that. Last time I checked, before we were 25, 65, or 105, we are all human first. What happened to basic and common courtesy and respect for a fellow human being? I don’t give a damn what you been through or what you’re going through now. You’re gonna have to respect me as well or else things are gonna get crazy. You’re never too old to get checked. Who gon check me boo?.. SHERNITA will!

So in the meantime, I’ll continue to keep it cool for 2010. But make sure and warn your out of control elders that if they cross me, things could get severe. I aint the one.

Flats are out Heels are in.. get into it!

kitten heelSo I’ve noticed lately that the general height of a woman’s shoe heel has decreased. Now don’t get me wrong, Im all for comfort, but I gotta look good in the meantime.

Now 4 inches in my opinion is just too damn high, unless you got a ride to and from the party.(and dont be tardy)  Give me a strong 2.5 to 3 inch heel and Im good to go. But I’ve heard and seen this monstrosity called a Kitten Heel. And Imma be honest… that does not count as a heel or even a real shoe for that matter. A kitten heel is just plain pointless, it clearly doesn’t give enough lift and it makes your legs look like tree trunks. (No thank you) I don’t care if they match your outfit perfectly, I don’t care if they are comfortable.. I don’t even care if you got them for free! It’s just unforgivable.  There’s nothing wrong with a little wedge but the kitten heel… just ruins lives.

Now I know you’re wondering how I feel about sneakers… so here goes…If it don’t have a heel then it better be a high top otherwise.. just throw it in the trash. I’d actually rather you put on a serious sock and walk on releve (a rising up onto full point or half point from the flat of the feet.)….than to have on any type of flat situation. Im just being honest…

Ladies, if you’re gonna step out and show them what its all about, Please put on a shoe that’s appropriate…. flats don’t count. They never have and they never will.

The Gumbo’s Good Ain’t It?

Hope you saved room for seconds….

You CAN’T Stand Under My Umbrella ella ella .. SHIT!

Rain.. necessary yet annoying as hell, especially when you have to be out in it. But, nothing is more annoying than having a jacked up ass umbrella.

So growing up, I knew that if I wanted an umbrella  I could rely on.. it had to be from Totes. From what I knew, Totes was and still is  the most trusted name in the umbrella world. So with that being said, I bought a Totes umbrella a few months ago.

Now,  this was one of those purse size fold up real small easy to fit in any bag discreet style umbrellas and .. it was $16 dollars.

Imma keep it real. On a normal day ,I woulda told the people at the store to kiss my ass cuz I’d rather walk in the damn rain than pay $16 damn dollars for a freakin umbrella! But I was like shit, it is pouring right now and after all it’s by Totes so this is more of an investment. This umbrella will be well worth the money and last a long time. Or so I thought…

Fast forward to today. Its 60 degrees and windy. But I feel fine cuz I got my cute jacket, my 2 step and my Totes umbrella. Tell me why I’m just walking along minding my business, a little wind (well it wasn’t that little) blew and I looked up, and the damn umbrella was damn near snapped in half! I was like okay hold on stop the press call President Obama don’t panic you can fix this. Next thing I know, the bitch ass umbrella is in 2 pieces laying on the damn sidewalk! You couldn’t fathom the rage I felt  at that moment. I was about to f somebody up.

$16 mutha$)^!@%g! dollars for this shit! Totes is a bold face liar! Running around here for years fronting like they got the best damn umbrellas ever. This is some real bullshit. Imma find their corporate office and Imma wreck shop. Imma burn it down, build it back up, then blow it to pieces. They got alot of damn nerve! I should sue they ass. Aint no difference between their umbrellas and the 99 cent ones (u know the ones with the faulty handle and the silver button).

In conclusion my fellow Gumbo eaters, save your damn money and get you a regular ass umbrella. Or matter fact, get yaself a rain poncho, accessorize it with a cute belt and keep it moving.

Still Hungry?

Don’t worry, there’s enough for seconds.